Editor’s note: I have another guest post for you today from Jack Martin. He’s got some great advice for you today on how to get back on your feet after a divorce. I hope you never have to go through that experience, but if you do (or are going through it or have gone through it), I hope this advice can help you!
When do things get back to normal?
Many people ask themselves this question after a divorce, but the answer might not be what they expect. Your life gets back to normal when you allow it to. “Normal” isn’t always the default setting for your life. After a divorce, your life may need rearranging and adjustment to find the new “normal.”
Here are five tips to get you started.
1. Create a New Schedule
During the divorce process, your schedule can become stretched and smashed in all the wrong places. Many of your familiar routines may have come to a halt and need to be restarted. Other routines just might not be possible anymore, and you need to reimagine how to achieve your goals. But you’re in a position to make changes for the better.
Determine what’s most important to you:
- Do you need to set aside time for new obligations to your children?
- Is your physical health in need of a jumpstart?
- Are you happy at your job?
Set aside time in your schedule to confront your most important challenges over the next few months. Fill in additional items around these most important few. It won’t all go perfectly at first, but continue to adjust your schedule until you feel you are on track to achieving your most important goals.
2. Get Back into the Dating World
When you feel that you’re getting your life and schedule back on track, it might be time to dip your toe back into the dating pool. No, you don’t want to dive in head first, but a gradual move back into the dating world can help you gain confidence.
If traditional dating isn’t so appealing or if you are hesitant to “put yourself out there,” online dating can be a low-risk way to meet people. And there are plenty of fish in the online sea. It’s been estimated that over 20 million people use online dating every year.
Ensure that you’re searching in the right place by joining a dating site specific to dating after divorce or single parent dating. You don’t have to find a soul mate, but just meeting new and interesting people is a huge positive step.
3. Reconnect with Old Friends
Friendships are often put on the backburner during a marriage or divorce. You most likely have friends with whom you haven’t kept in touch. Well, that’s the wonderful thing about friendship, isn’t it? Your friends are still there. You just need to communicate with them. Rebuilding old friendships as you start a new chapter of your life can be an incredible blend between the new and the old.
4. Travel to a New Place
Human beings fall into patterns. Some patterns are good, but others could be better defined as “ruts.” Many times, your location can intensify the feeling of being stuck in a rut. You need to change it up every once in a while.
Visit someplace new. It doesn’t have to be for a long time. It’s just about mixing it up. Trying something new. It can actually be pretty hard to do, but taking yourself on a short vacation can free you up. You can’t follow your patterns perfectly when you’re in a new place. You need to make adjustments. Learn how to adapt on the fly, and then bring that problem-solving energy back home with you.
5. Do the Thing You’ve Always Wanted to Do
Easier said than done, right?
Wrong. You can set goals for yourself. We let so many obstacles stand in the way of what we want. But just how big are those obstacles? If you push them together and pile them up, it may be a wall too high to climb and too thick to break through. And that’s how many of us view the obstacles that stand between us and the things we want.
But what if you examined your obstacles one by one? That large wall is just a series of small problems, and if you handle them one-by-one, you can get past them all. Pick a dream, any dream, and make it happen. The harder to accomplish, the more accomplished you’ll feel afterwards.